ALLISON'S PERSONAL STORY

February 11, 2016 Upper GI Disorders

I never thought I would consider going onto google and typing in: "stories about constipation", reading about these stories, and then feeling inclined to post my own. And yet, here I am. This topic is taboo for our culture, and after reading some of the other stories, this needs to stop. This is a symptom/disease or however you would like to refer to it that needs to be addressed, discussed, tested, and solved once and for all.
I too, feel guilt for saying that something that is not "fatal" should be given more attention to when cancer is the #1 killer in our world, but isn't cancer commonly associated to all of the digestive problems that we are having? Just because we do not have cancer does not mean we are dying inside on a daily basis.
I am 23 years old and have never felt so unmotivated and depressed in my entire life. I know most of you are saying "Oh hunny, wait til your my age", but most of you can think back to your early twenties where life is supposed to be full of curiosities, questions, and uncertainties, and yet, I hate every second of it.
In addition to attempting to start my career and establish myself as a single, broke, and bored citizen, I am also trying to cope with my inner self every moment of the day.
All of the stories that discuss diagnosis at an early age, counseling/nutrition/gastroenterology appointments blah blah are all prominent here as well. It is a waiting game, but what exactly am I waiting for?
After reading all of your stories it seems to me that know one has come out to say: "I found a cure!" or "This has helped me!", so should I just simply say that this is the card I was dealt? Is this seriously going to be a part of my everyday life? How can you stay motivated? How can you function? How can you stay focused? My brain is warped, my emotions are too disgusting to even give detail to, my co-workers and loved ones probably can't even fatham being around me one more second, and most importantly, I have lost myself completely.
This has nothing to do with my self-image or self-worth. I do care about myself and know that I am a beautiful and active human being but how on earth can this be true when I can't even picture getting out of bed another day and putting on a fake smile around everyone when I really want to scream: "I HAVEN'T RELIEVED MYSELF IN 28 DAYS IT HURTS TO BREATHE! MUST BE NICE TO FEEL GOOD!"

To leave a comment you must login first, click here to login